Ultimate Dating Tips, Advice, & Strategies For Dating Mastery!
Although this article has a lot of great dating tips, advice, and ideas, it offers much more. It gives you an education and a step-by-step strategy that you can use to dramatically improve your dating success and enjoyment.
To draw your attention to key points, you will find these markers throughout the text: (Dating Tip:) & (Dating Ideas:).
Benefits to Mastery
Most of us approach dating in a lackadaisical manner as if our actions were dictated by instincts that we have no control over, like it is with animals. The difference, of course, is that humans have an infinitely superior intelligence that provides us with the ability to think, analyze, and choose.
Mastering dating rituals and techniques can change everything in terms of how successful you are in the courting process. This includes not only having the ability to recognize early when it's time to move on, but also how to create romance and passion with the person you have determined to be a promising match. (Dating Tip:) Dating rituals and techniques create the mystery and romance that women love and render the enticement and passion that men love.
Other benefits to gaining these skills is having more poise and confidence, which translate to having more fun! The final reward is a successful dating experience with someone you recognize as being the one who's right for you!
Building from the Basics
We will develop this information from a solid foundation by building from the basics of dating. For it is through the dating basics or rituals where we will apply the techniques that we shall learn about. Even the highly experienced dating veteran will benefit from this review.
The first date can produce a wide range of feelings from extreme nervousness and apprehension to being relaxed and self-assured for the well prepared or experienced. Opinions on how the date went can also vary widely from, "I think we had a great time" to "I'm not sure if either one of us had a good time or not." The uncertainty and mixed emotions are normal. The variation to either end of the scale of possible emotions depends on how much dating experience a person has and how long it's been since they dated last.
Responsibility for at least the first several dates, even by today's standards, typically rests almost entirely on the man. Ladies can be helpful, however, by being cooperative with plans and gracious as her man tries his best to execute the various dating rituals and customs such as opening doors, ordering wine, and so forth without stumbling.
First Date
The first date should be scheduled a week to two (2) weeks in advance, and it should be on a weekday (Monday through Thursday), not Friday or Saturday night. Friday, and especially Saturday, nights are reserved for the more advanced stages of dating. If work or school schedules doesn't permit this, then a date during the day on Saturday or Sunday will work. (Dating Tip:) Incidentally, you should be trying to date several people, or at least more than one (1), during your quest. Focusing on just one person can stifle your resolve to reach your target.
Guys, you should select a particular day and time for your date in advance of asking her. If she tells you that it's not a good day, do not negotiate unless she offers a specific alternative that fits into your plan (Monday through Thursday, anytime, or Saturday or Sunday, during the day). If she doesn't offer a specific alternative (This would not include, "Call me next week."), say to her, "Perhaps some other time." That's it! (Dating Tip:) The reason for all these tactical moves is this: If she is interested, she will help make it happen by re-arranging her schedule or by offering a specific alternative. Ladies, I'm sure you will agree with this. (Dating Tip:) Gentlemen, if you do get an unclear response to your invitation for a date, then make the decision based on your gut instincts on whether you should give it a second try or move on. If the second try doesn't work, then don't waste your time, just move on! The same is true for the ladies. (Dating Tip:) If a guy is not following these guidelines by not giving you enough advanced notice, or he has no plans when he picks you up, or he's not attentive during your dates, move on! In either case, the situation for the person you are attracted to could change in the future, but for now they are probably not interested.
The destination for your date should be simple and inexpensive, but clean and nice, and in your neighborhood. There is no sense investing your time or a lot of money until you determine if you like each other. (Dating Tip:) Most women will only become uncomfortable, or perceive you as being foolish, if you spend a month's pay on the first date. (Dating Ideas:) Possible locations for a first date might be at a local tavern, a coffee house, or an inexpensive restaurant.
Your Best Act is Being Yourself
Don't try to impress your date with your money, your position, your car, or your body measurements. Using these things to win someone over will only attract those with superficial intentions. (Dating Tip:) Win them over by showing them the qualities you have inside by simply being yourself.
Actually, the most important thing you can do on a date is to be yourself. There is always the temptation to act like the "Goddess Princess" or the "Knight in Shining Armor," especially after a few drinks. There is also the tendency to go along with things that conflict with your values, or to overstate your accomplishments or virtues. Trying to be somebody you aren't will not only bind you to a pack of lies, but it will often bring about an arrogant and conceited manner in you. It's also a lot of work being someone you're not. Wouldn't you rather have someone fall in love with you as you truly are? Of course you would! So do it. Be yourself!
Attraction Intoxication
Although you may be intoxicated by the beautiful or handsome appearance of your date, do not reveal the full extent of your feelings just yet. Save that for the right moment several dates down the road. Just say, "You look very nice this evening." and leave it at that. (Dating Tip:) In regard to sexual innuendoes, they have no place during the early stages of dating. They can be offensive to women, and sometimes to men as well.
Do not permit physical attraction (or lust) to cloud your judgment. When this happens, your vision begins to fade away, and you risk the chance of fooling yourself into believing that you have found the one who's right for you. Don't allow physical attraction to obscure your emotional requirements. Because when you find someone who satisfies both, the fireworks will be a continuous grand finale', and not a brief show followed by a string of duds. So don't settle for an individual who falls short of your vision. (Dating Tip:) To quickly determine if someone meets our criteria, we need to pay attention to our intuition and not be timid about attempting to determine their true character through tactful questions.
Tactical Questions
Keep the conversation light during the first few dates, but try to tactfully find out if your date has the qualities you seek in a partner or friend. (Dating Tip:) And don't tell them your whole life story and all your intimate secrets right away. Prolong the mystery. In fact, always try to maintain some degree of anonymity in some area of your personality or life, as it naturally provokes more excitement. Mystery is a mental aphrodisiac!
Take notice of your date's personality attributes and how they demonstrate their values through their actions and unrehearsed comments. Then ask yourself, "Do their responses reflect my values?" Human resource professionals carefully use crafted questions to get people to talk about themselves while they unwittingly reveal key aspects of their character. (Dating Tip:) Questions like these, used in a date setting, can also be revealing as well as lead to stimulating conversation.
On the first few dates, your questions should be geared toward discovering what you have in common and generating stimulating conversation. Save the more probing and tactical questions for a later time down the road. Typical questions might include:
- Where did you grow up?
- Do you have brothers/sisters?
- Where did you go to high school/college?
- What are your favorite movies?
- What are your favorite songs?
- What are your favorite sports?
- What type of books do you read?
More probing questions, which tend to reveal a lot about a person, should not occur until the third or fourth date. You can keep them from sounding like interview questions by presenting them playfully in a game-like manner. Probing questions might include:
- Where do you see yourself in three (3) to five (5) years?
- Using single words, how would you describe yourself?
- What's your greatest achievement?
- What's your greatest disappointment?
- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
- What is your best attribute?
Here are a few words of caution regarding the use of questions. (Dating Tip:) If you're dating more than one person at the same time, and you have any tendency to get confused about what you've talked about with each individual, I would suggest that you make notes on what you talked about in your journal or calendar. Nothing is more disappointing to a date than when it is discovered that you can't remember what you spoke to them about. (Dating Tip:) On the other hand, nothing is more charming to them than when you remember specific details about your conversation.
At the End & Before the Next Date
Gentlemen, if when saying good night on the first date you feel a kiss might be appropriate, kiss her once to the duration that feels right. (Dating Tip:) Then say good night, turn, and walk away. Do not linger, talk more, try to kiss her again, or ask her for a second date!
Ladies, be sure to thank your date for the things that he bought you during the date. Be sensitive to the fact that dating is expensive and you never know how deep a man is going into his current budget to take you out.
Wait a few days and think it over. Is he or she worth pursuing? If so, gentlemen call her about a week later and schedule the second date for around a week from then. (Dating Tip:) Ladies if you haven't heard from him within two (2) weeks, move on! Don't allow yourself to take it personally, even if you had a great time! Don't waste your time trying to figure it out. Just get yourself back out there! Ladies, if you're the one who's not interested, simply refuse his offer for a date, even if you don't have a date for the company Christmas party! You'd make a much better impression on your friends and management if you were there with someone who was truly right for you!
Second Date
The second date should be advanced one more step by scheduling it later in the week on a Thursday or Friday evening, or Sunday, but not Saturday night! The destination should remain inexpensive, but slightly more adventuresome. (Dating Ideas:) Perhaps a light dinner at a unique sandwich or coffee shop, a movie, a special ice cream parlor, and/or a walking tour through a popular area with a lot of interesting stores.
The goodbye kiss on the second date can last a little longer, or a kiss or two (2) during the date is OK, but don't draw them out for too long. (Dating Tip:) Build up to that. Then later on down the line, after your friendship and feelings have been established, the long romantic kiss will be very heartfelt and memorable. If rushed, there's the possibility that the progress of your relationship development may not match, resulting in an awkward moment. So let interest, excitement, and romance develop at its own pace and give your partner/friend something to think about between dates! (Dating Tip:) Gentlemen, after the goodnight kiss, if there is one (some people take longer and that's OK too), say good night and leave. Do not linger! And do not schedule the next date then. Wait! Waiting not only gives you a cooling off period to get your head straight, but it also builds excitement and romance.
Third Date
If things seem to be advancing well and your date appears to fit your criteria so far, gentlemen, ask her for a third date after about a week and schedule it approximately a week in advance. And elevate the courting process to the next level, perhaps a Friday or even a Saturday night! (Dating Ideas:) Dinner and dancing, or dinner and a movie are good choices.
Ladies, if he doesn't meet your criteria at this point, move on! (Dating Tip:) Don't think that you can change him! Instead of wasting time, get back out there! If he calls, just tell him that your situation has changed and you're no longer available. If he's persistent, be honest, but also remember to be kind and empathetic. Just tell him something like, "I think we would both be happier with someone else."
I am placing more emphasis at this point on the ladies decision on whether they should move on because women typically have better judgment than men during the early stages of dating. Later on, it switches.
Dancing Expresses the Heart
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